My Damn Opinion

True story, as wilder_hiryu is my witness:

So, here at the Wellbridge accounting office, we process paperwork and contracts for the various health clubs owned by the company. At the end of every month, the clubs start sending in the paperwork they should have been sending in over the course of the entire month, so we often get slammed on the last day with huge amounts of forms and contracts. Thusly:

My Boss: The Clayton club just sent me a 75 page fax!
Coworker 1: Holy cow....
Coworker 2: That's unbelievable.
My Boss: 75 pages! This is out of control!
Coworker1 : This is madness.
Dan, standing up from his desk and shaking his fist in rage: THIS! IS! WELLBRIDGE!

*hilarity ensues*

I had to go around to Coworker 1's desk afterwards and thank her for the fabulous setup. You don't often get a straight line like that, and it's important not to waste them. ^_^

Why the hell didn't I think of this?



I predict we'll bee seeing a lot more of these around, quite soon. Someone needs to add some music to this, like The Ride of the Valkyries.

Clearly, he is not a Jedi yet.

Thanks to lantis_aka_ish

I'm probably a terrible person, but this made me laugh until I cried.

I suppose I'm not as big an asshole as some. ^_^

EDIT: You're not gonna wanna watch this at work. It has bad words and barely covered bewbs.

Thanks a lot, sixtyforty. ( Thanks a lot. )

EDIT: For the record, despite the similarity, this is NOT a picture of me.

mightymightybakudan: ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mightymightybakudan: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mightymightybakudan: OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mightymightybakudan: http://edibleanus.com/
mightymightybakudan: http://edibleanus.com/
mightymightybakudan: http://edibleanus.com/
mightymightybakudan: http://edibleanus.com/
mightymightybakudan: http://edibleanus.com/
mightymightybakudan: http://edibleanus.com/!!!!!!!
mightymightybakudan: They have wHOLEsale pricing!!!
Shiloh: Right up your alley.
mightymightybakudan: can't type
mightymightybakudan: laughing too hard
mightymightybakudan: vision blurring
mightymightybakudan: stomach
mightymightybakudan: vomiting
mightymightybakudan: I am totally getting you one of those sterling silver anuses.
Shiloh: rofl
mightymightybakudan: I'll have it mounted on our wedding ring
mightymightybakudan: When we get married by a Shriner dressed as a catholic schoolgirl
Shiloh: rofl
mightymightybakudan: and witnessed by a flock of goats
mightymightybakudan: For the man who has everything.....
mightymightybakudan: So, if you lost your anus in a duel, could you wear one of these like Tycho Brahe?
Shiloh: Yes.

This site has some useful and amusing random generators on it, but my personal favorite is The Grimoire of Questionable Spells. Some beauties from that list:

Induce Nose Picking
Zone of Baldness
Cheese Beam
Protection from Gym Teacher
Call Stripper
Holy Vortex of Immaturity
Dispell Silliness
Persperation Maelstorm
Communicate with Fangirl
Invoke Back Pain
Shield of Impoliteness
Bacon Wall
Eruption of Bad Hygene

And my personal favorite: Protection from Geeks. I need to see if I can get a Ring of Protection from Geeks +5 for NDK. Then again, would I be able to wear it?


Even better is the Realistic Alignment Generator, yielding such treasures as:

Angry Good
Gossipy Neutral
Lawful Irritating
Radical Good
Neutral Arrogant
Artistic Evil
Lazy Evil (best kind)
Fashionable Neutral

And my personal favorite alignment of all time, Chaotic Erotic. 

I'm not a monster. Well technically, I am.

This makes me so happy. Thank you, Randy. ^_^

In case of ego emergency, please locate yourself on this handy chart. No matter how bad you are, there's bound to be someone worse. 

I hate reading the internet.

There are some notable exceptions, of course. I enjoy reading LiveJournal, because I have chosen to listen to what you all have to say, and if you piss me off too bad I can simply drop you like a hot rock. But for the most part, wandering the internet randomly and reading the steaming mounds that people have grunted out either saddens or angers me. But sometimes, I take a chance.

And sometimes I win.

For some unfathomable reason, I was reading various blog posts on OkCupid. I came across one where the fellow was ranting and raving, making a point I myself have often considered valid. And in the comments below came the usual snarky semi-witty responses, being mean and rude because the internet grants us that power, the power to be completely anonymous and therefore not at all responsible for our own actions. However, hidden in those kernels of nastiness were some rather valid points, and some good responses to the argument presented in the post. And then came the response from the original poster.

"You're right, " he said, "I didn't even see it. How arrogant of me to assume I was right without considering the other point of view. I apologize for my ignorance."

Stunning, I know.

And the witty response?: "This is supposed to be the part where you defend your position with a series of increasingly absurd rationalizations, dammit. YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING. "

Ah, internet. I think I'll keep ya.

Politics is a rough game. Make sure he's got your back.

I have found my new religion. It's one I think we can all agree on, and that fits my personal views perfectly.

One just has to wonder what the afterlife will be like.....